Sadly enough, over 17 million American adults deal with depression on a regular basis. So,if you’re living with a depressed spouse, chances are that you’re not alone.
To be quite honest, there are several challenges with being married to someone who suffers from depression. Intrigued? Read on for nine tips for being married to a depressed spouse below!
1. Learn as Much as You Can
First of all, dealing with a depressed wife or depressed husband is extremely difficult. While depression and marriage often go hand in hand, it can still be hard to spot the signs when your partner appears “perfectly normal.”
Sometimes, depression isn’t always as blatant as lying in bed crying all day. Although this can be confusing, you have to consider that your partner doesn’t have as much control over their own mood as you may think they have.
To scratch the surface, start by conducting some research about different mood disorders online. Even though it is hard, this is the best way to begin understanding your partner’s moods.
2. Encourage Professional Support
Next, it never hurts to encourage your partner to seek professional support when they need it the most. This is particularly helpful for those who still feel the stigma of getting therapy for mental health issues as well. Keep in mind that your partner may feel like they can “tough it out” through this difficult phase.
However, if you’re unable to witness any progress within a few weeks, it might be time to call in some reinforcements. Plus, the sooner that your partner finds help, the better. In the meantime, picking up self-help books to thumb through at home may help too.
3. Be Mad at the Situation, Not Your Spouse
This is much easier said than done, but do your best to be mad at the situation, not your spouse. As you might already know, attacking your partner’s personhood or character is not a positive way to go. In fact, this could even cause them to spiral further into depression.
When all else fails, try to remember that your partner is not making a conscious decision to feel bad. At the end of the day, their mood swings are not your fault – or theirs.
4. Remember That You’re on the Same Side
As we mentioned above, dealing with a depressed partner is beyond difficult. On the other hand, neither you nor your partner is to blame.
So, instead of blaming your partner when things go wrong, try making statements that start with “I wish” instead. For instance, you can say, “I wish everything was different between you and me right now” or “we’re in this together.”
5. Avoid Entering the ‘Fix-It Mode’
Let’s face it: it is easy to fall into the “fix-it mode” when seeing our spouse suffering or in pain. However, they might think that you’re trying to psychologize them, which can lead to another big argument. In addition to this, it’s not simple for someone who’s not a professional to diagnose or cure depression.
Unfortunately, there is no “magic bullet” that will resolve or fix your partner’s feelings. In this situation, the best thing you can do is listen to what your partner has to say without judgment. Asking your spouse about what it’s like to experience depression might be a helpful way to open discussion on dialogue as well.
6. Support Your Spouse’s Successes
When it’s time for your partner to recover from their depression, it’s important to support their successes, no matter how large or small they are.
For example, if your spouse has a hard time getting dressed in the morning, congratulate them if they throw on their best outfit first thing. In fact, saying something as small as “I love your outfit today,” might be just the thing they need to continue their journey toward recovery.
7. Check Out Couple’s Counseling
Once you’ve done your personal research and you still need help, we highly recommend that you check out couple’s counselling. This is a great solution for couples who fight too often to get on the same page.
In addition to your partner’s counselling, joining them in couples therapy is the number one way to show that you support their mental health. Not only does this promote proper communication, but it will also help you communicate tough issues better as well.
8. Think About Your Needs Too
In the middle of dealing with your partner’s depression, don’t forget to think about your own needs too. Remember to keep up with your friends or personal interests outside the relationship. Don’t neglect your self-care either.
Pro tip: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Otherwise, you’re going to take out your bad mood on your partner, and both of you will suffer.
9. Practice Caring and Compassion
Last but not least, practice caring and compassion when interacting with your depressed partner. Chances are that you and your spouse are doing your best to take care of and cope with one another. By giving each other the “benefit of the doubt,” you’ll create more room to grow in your relationship.
Dealing With a Depressed Spouse?
Still not sure how to deal with a depressed spouse?
When it comes to living with a depressed spouse, we’ve got you covered. For professional support for self-care, we’ve got everything you need to get your loved ones back on their feet again.