It’s January, which means it’s the time for New Year’s Resolutions. People start the year with good intentions, but did you know that 80% of resolutions are abandoned by February? What happened to creating the life you always imagined?
Obstacles come up, and people get discouraged. It happens to everyone! No one is perfect at setting and achieving goals. So, how can you work towards your full potential?
Christine Turo-Shields, owner of Kenosis, spoke on this topic. Her book Transformations: A Women’s Journey of Self-Discovery helps women unlock their power and make the necessary changes to create the life they envision and deserve. In this article, Christine shares how to work towards the life you want, potential obstacles to overcome, and how to stick to your goals.
Working Towards the Life You Always Imagined
You can manifest and envision the life you always imagined for yourself. You set your mind to making something happen in your life and take steps to get there. Even if they’re small steps, every amount of progress is working toward your goal. Kenosis’ mantra is to help people empty themselves, change their lives, and fill their futures. That’s what it takes to earn the life you always imagined.
Empty Yourself
Emptying yourself refers to ridding your life of the things holding you back. It could be material things you need to get rid of or removing toxic people from your life. You may need to set new boundaries to reach your goal. You might need to adjust your mindset.
Christine shares this metaphor: “Back in the day, I used to backpack. One of the things they first do when you show up with your backpack is a ‘shakedown’. You take everything out and get rid of unnecessary items. If I have toothpaste still in the box, I get rid of the cardboard container. You peel things back, getting rid of stuff so you’re not as weighted down because all that weight becomes cumulative.” Removing unnecessary stressors from your life puts you in the right mindset to start to change.
Change Your Life
What needs to change in your life to reach your full potential? Envision where you want to go and plan a map to get there. Depending on your personality, it could be a structured map with smaller milestones, or it could be a free-flowing map that changes as you go.
Christine had a free-flowing map on her journey to transformation: “At a point in my life, a family member’s depression was weighing me down and I had added a lot of physical weight. My vision was to bring light and lightness into my life. I decided to be more physically active and I shifted as a result of that. I also found that my sugar cravings decreased tremendously. I started by walking around the block, and then I started alternating between walking and jogging one block at a time. Then, I was connecting with friends and doing more hiking. Then, I added spin classes. Then it was pickleball, and from that, I met somebody and started playing racquetball again. I didn’t envision how it was going to happen. I just envisioned light and lightness, and I kept going.”
How do you want to live differently? What do you envision your life to be like? Decide the changes that need to happen to get there. These are just a few examples to get you thinking:
- I want to lose weight: Take daily walks around the block. Park a little farther at the store to get more steps in. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
- I want to have more friends: Join MeetUp groups. Say ‘yes’ to new experiences. Text an old friend. Join groups at church. Join Facebook groups.
- I want to eat healthier: Choose to cook at home rather than go out. Make healthy treats. Remove junk food from your house.
- I want to drink less alcohol: Remove alcohol from your house. Buy other ‘fun’ drinks to keep at home. Suggest sober outings to do with your friends.
- I want to learn a new skill: Take a class. Watch a YouTube video.
Fill Your Future
The final step is to fill your future. This is when you begin to live the life you always imagined. You may do things you never thought possible. That’s the case with Christine: “I’m planning on completing two sprint triathlons in August 2024. This is the first one I’ve done, and I’m 59. It’s never too late to try something new and push yourself outside your comfort zone.” Back when she began walking around the block every day, she didn’t imagine she would end up signing up for a triathlon. But now that she’s worked toward the life she envisioned, she has new opportunities and goals. You can, too!
Common Obstacles Holding You Back From Your Potential
Women face many challenges that hold them back from their potential. We often see a need to put others before ourselves. So much of what women do outpours to other people (kids, spouse, extended family, clients/patients/customers, etc.) They are so depleted that they don’t have the opportunity or don’t take the opportunity to tend to themselves.
That’s why self-care is so important. Constantly putting others before yourself holds you back from reaching your goals. Christine explains, “Women oftentimes forget to fill themselves back up, to replenish themselves. It’s the whole notion of putting your oxygen mask on first anytime you ride in a plane. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anybody else.”
Life obstacles happen all the time. Sickness, financial concerns, injuries… You can’t predict when these things happen, and yes, they can get in the way of your goals. But even with the chaos of life, finding a few moments every day to do something for yourself is progress towards your goals. That could look like this:
- Going on a walk
- Call a friend
- Read a fun book
- Meditate
- Listen to a podcast
- Buy yourself flowers
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the cornerstone of reaching your goals and achieving the life you always imagined.
6 Tips to Stick to Your Goals
Self-growth and change are easy to say you’ll do, but the actual work required isn’t something many people are ready to commit to. So, how can you stick to your goals to achieve the life you always imagined? Here are six tips.
1. Have a Support Network
Women need a support network, people you can call at 2:00 AM and will come be with you. Christine shares, “I’m blessed to have six friends who are also therapists. We’ve been connected for decades, and each of us has gone through life struggles and changes. Without them, we probably wouldn’t have made it through.” Find a group of women who you can rely on and lean on. Here are some ideas:
- Your best friend
- A family member
- Support group
2. Movement
Did you know physical activity is one of the best antidepressants? It increases endorphins in the brain that help you feel energized. If someone is in a sluggish mood, it’s hard to convince yourself to get off the couch. Even walking around the block can improve your mood and make you feel good. Anything you do today that you didn’t do yesterday, you get credit for!
3. Time in Green Space
Getting outside and getting some fresh air is a wonderful stress reliever and antidepressant. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, spend time outside. Even if you can’t physically go outside, have pictures around your house or office of the outdoors. Put a picture of the outdoors as your screensaver or hanging on your wall.
4. Sleep
If you get 7-8 hours of sleep, you can reduce symptoms of anxiety or depression by up to 50%. Sleep allows your brain to reset and process the events of the previous day. Not getting enough sleep can lead to a variety of mental and physical issues, which can hinder your progress towards your goals.
5. Build in Accountability
Tell people what you’re doing and ask them for help. This is a great way to utilize your support group! Ask them to check in on your progress. Cluing people into what you’re doing results in more understanding and encouragement.
6. Relieve Yourself of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a huge issue when trying to reach your goals. If you deviate or disappoint yourself, you feel like you failed and won’t try again. Give yourself credit for progress, not perfection. Every small step you take is a step in the right direction.
Christine shares an example: “I was doing triathlon conditioning, and in December, I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery. I couldn’t swim for six weeks until it healed completely. So I had to figure out what I could do alternately. Life is all about how you handle Plan B. If Plan B doesn’t work, move on to Plan C. Then if you have to, go to D and then go down to Z.” There’s always something to try if your first plan doesn’t work out. Don’t get stuck trying to be perfect.
It’s never too late to start creating the life you always imagined. You don’t have to wait until January to make a new goal. Transformations take work, but they aren’t impossible. Your new, transformed life awaits!