Managing mental health is just as important for kids as it is for adults. That’s because mental health impacts how children develop cognitively, emotionally, and behaviorally. When kids show early signs of anxiety or depression, it needs to be addressed sooner than later to prevent issues later in life. Here at Kenosis, we have a highly qualified team of therapists who specialize in working with kids, including Luke Hatton.
Luke was born and raised in Indiana, and he is very invested in improving and being involved in his community. He has a bachelor’s in Psychology and recently graduated with his masters in Social Work. He remained on at Kenosis as an associate after completing the internship program.
At Kenosis, Luke works with kids, teens, and young adults on the various challenges they face, such as depression, anxiety, grief, and trauma. He is interested in earning a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) certification to further his education and specialty. We took some time to speak with Luke about how he approaches therapy for children and young people, including how he gains his clients’ trust, how parents and caregivers can help with the process and his general advice for families considering counseling. He also discussed how creative interventions like role-playing games can be helpful for some kids in therapy.
Earning a Client’s Trust
When working with new clients, Luke tries to get a feel for how comfortable the client is talking with him. At the onset, he notices if certain subjects are uncomfortable for them to talk about or if they aren’t open to talking at all. He respects each client’s comfort with self-disclosure and tries to make it as low-stakes as possible. He explains, “I don’t need to hear all of the nitty-gritty if they don’t want to. I want to get to know their interests and who they are as a person before I really jump into all of the tougher things unless that’s the route they go, and then I go with them on that.” Many clients won’t jump headfirst in the first session because they’re embarrassed or scared. Instead, Luke focuses on getting to know them and answering questions they may have getting started.
He puts an emphasis on earning the client’s trust. He says, “My personal philosophy is being very open and honest with them and expecting the same back. They’re not always going to be, and as a therapist, you have to be okay with it. But that open and honest communication with your client, even with a seven-year-old kid, demonstrates that you’re not going to just try and pull one over on them. You’re not trying to get the better of them or anything like that.” Being honest with the client shows that he is human too and is trying to help them work through their emotions.
On the other hand, Luke also works to earn the trust of the parents (or caregivers), as they are vital to the therapeutic process. Luke recalls something Dave Shields, co-founder of Kenosis, said to him: “40% is working with the kid, and 60% is working with the parents or the caregivers.” He finds this to be true in his practice. Much of the work in therapy happens outside of his sessions with the client, and the participation of the parents is vital to extend the benefits beyond the therapy office. It’s important to have parent involvement as well as the client.
A Parent’s Role in Therapy
Parents bring their kids to therapy because they think there is something wrong and they want to help. Therapy is more successful when parents are willing to examine how they may be contributing to the struggle. Kids often mimic the behaviors they observe. Luke works with the family system to help guide everyone to a healthier state of functioning.
Luke recommends, “The practitioner is there to help your child. They’re not trying to judge you by any means, or assess your parenting ability. They’re just trying to make sure the child is being taken care of. That’s always my main goal.” Listening to your child is critical, and he helps to facilitate that in a non-judgmental way. Parents often observe unhealthy behaviors, and a lot of the time, there’s something going on at school or at home that’s influencing some of this behavior. Take a step back, listen to your child, and take stock so you can find out what is going on and seek therapy if needed.
Again, parents are part of the therapeutic process and aid in their child’s success. Luke likes to check in with the parents at the beginning of sessions to see how the week went and how they are doing. He gives them the space to talk through what they have observed from their child so he can have an idea of what’s been going on before talking to the client.
Luke prefers some one-on-one time with each kid client because parents can influence how the child will respond. “It could be very overtly where they kind of prompt them with a response, or it could be a little bit more covertly where just being there makes the kid nervous or upset.” Giving the child time alone with Luke gives him an ability to build rapport so they more easily open up and talk. Luke gives parents updates after sessions to explain the progress their child has made. He asks the child to share specific details with you directly, and that small gesture builds more trust between himself and his clients.
Games and Role-Playing as Therapeutic Interventions
Luke is a self-proclaimed nerd and has been interested in studies about using tabletop role-playing games to help clients understand their feelings. For example, Dungeons and Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game popular among teens and young adults. Role-playing isn’t a groundbreaking idea in therapy, but using fictional characters creates a degree of separation that resistant clients might be more comfortable with. As already mentioned, kids mimic behaviors, and those behaviors can even come from fictional characters.
Luke incorporates role-playing exercises in his therapy practice. He says, “I think that it’s a very useful thing, especially for younger kids because a lot of younger kids are developmentally impulsive. Sometimes I have to walk them through and show them, ‘Okay, if you do this, there’s going to be a consequence. If you do this, there might be a reward or sometimes neither.’” It’s a great way to teach skills like thinking ahead and taking an empathetic viewpoint in a way young children can understand.
Luke shares an example: “I’m working with a younger client, and he was really resistant to working with me at all. He had some more depressive symptoms and wouldn’t talk about his emotions. The parents were attempting to be as helpful as they could, but they were also feeling at the end of the rope. ‘We don’t know what to do.’ The client was into video games and movies. In a one-on-one session with him doing a tabletop role-playing game, he became more comfortable and enjoyed it. Then he got suspended from school not long after that. I talked to him about his suspension, and eventually, we got on the topic of self-esteem and self-love. He was very open and honest about how he was feeling about himself. It all was very rewarding to see the breakthrough that happened.”
Luke’s Advice to Parents
Choosing to bring your child to therapy is a big decision. Sometimes parents or caregivers are nervous to put their child in therapy because they’re afraid of what others may think. To that, he replies, “We’re here to help people. It takes courage to seek out therapy.” A third party can offer a different perspective than people close to you and the situation. You can trust a therapist to offer unbiased advice and new techniques to help a child experiencing challenges move forward in a healthy way to leverage his or her strengths to overcome struggles.