Why Positive Psychology is Important in Everyday Life
In Buddha’s Brain, Rick Hanson explains that the brain is inherently wired to be biased towards negativity. Our ancient ancestors survived by developing reflexive responses to certain stimuli–generally assuming the worst when interpreting our environment. For example, when we see a long, curvy object in our path, our initial response is to assume it is a dangerous snake and to react accordingly. This thinking may have ensured the survival of our ancestors, but we rarely need to worry about ‘snakes’ in our lives today. Despite our woes, not many things threaten our existence. It is only after we take a second look at the long, curved object in our path that we realize it is a harmless branch.
With our subconscious having fight-or-flight reactions to sticks on the ground, the modern prevalence of mental illness is no surprise. As it turns out, addressing this issue is the real trick to getting from ‘surviving’ to ‘thriving’ in our lives. Dr. Hanson explains that rewiring this quirk of the mind is key to resolving the disconnection between the ancient minds we’ve inherited and the modern world we live in. This ‘rewiring’ process is rooted in positive psychology and is centered around one specific practice: Gratitude.
The trick to enjoying ourselves during a stressful holiday season is to practice gratitude. As Charles Dickens puts it, “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
Why Gratitude?
The bias towards worst-case assumptions carries over to the more complicated parts of our life–our relationships, our health; our successes and our failures. Jumping away from every stick in the road may have ensured the survival of our precursors, but our ability to thrive depends on how effectively we can retrain our brain to notice the good in our lives. As Christine Turo-Shields explains, the key to overcoming this negativity bias is cultivating the skill of gratitude. She believes it is a skill that can (and should) be practiced in all aspects of life, large and small:
“Driving here this cold morning I saw an incredible sunrise beaming in through a newly-barren tree. I took a moment to breathe that in. I find that habits like these hone our ability to feel thankfulness and therefore contentedness in our lives. It is all about finding the blessings among the burdens.
For example, when my father was seventy-five he had to have an emergency brain surgery when we were visiting for the holidays. When I returned to work, people asked how my holidays were. The first thing I said to them was ‘Let me tell you the blessing amidst the burden–my entire family was there–if it had to happen, it couldn’t have been at a better time.”
Christine believes that negativity surrounds us everyday in the news and social media. She stresses the importance of cultivating our minds to find beauty in all situations. Our sense of inner-peace depends on everyday habits like journaling and self-reflection.
How do we become better at the practice of gratitude?
Anthropologists believe that we celebrate holidays in the wintertime specifically to counteract the psychological effects of colder days and reduced light from the sun. The holiday season (based around the winter solstice) is a great way to reflect on our blessings annually. Christine advocates practicing habits of gratitude for our own inward mental health during the holidays, but notes the potential for far-reaching benefits as well.
“Last year my resolution was to post a ‘gratitude’ on my facebook page every day. It was really interesting–while people didn’t always respond, I often heard about their appreciation later. You never know how your gratitude may positively affect someone else. I think any form of written acknowledgment is therapeutic for ourselves and can also create a ripple effect. The key is to keep trying new ways to be kind.”
When there is any struggle in our lives it can be very difficult to see things like sunrises and sunsets. Sometimes, we can have them pointed out to us by the people we see on a daily basis.
…But then, when was the last time you were bold enough to remind someone of the beauty of a sunrise?
The Ripple Effect
Kevin Enders has a bold way of showing gratitude in his day-to-day life. He takes note of individuals in his sphere who may not normally have their work acknowledged. Kevin is the Senior Outreach Managerat The Indiana Youth Institute and has a special interest in self-improvement through positive psychology. He agrees that practicing gratitude has plenty of benefits for ourselves inwardly, but believes that outward expression of gratitude is key. Like Christine, Kevin notes that gratitude is like any other skill in life–it requires training, like a muscle that requires exercise to grow.
“I was recently working on my laptop at a McDonald’s and noticed that a young employee mopped the floor three times within an hour. When I was leaving, I made a point to say thank you to her: ‘Thank you so much for working so hard. It might not mean much to you, but I really appreciate your efforts to provide us with a clean environment’.
You could see this smile come across her face. It was like she had forgotten what it was like for another person to appreciate her–maybe she didn’t hear it from her family that morning…or perhaps that week. That smile was beautiful and had a hint of confusion–as if to ask, ‘Why are you thanking me for something I didn’t do specifically for you?’
This is why I believe in the community benefit of expressing gratitude: I was able to remind her that she HAS done something for me: having a clean and safe space genuinely helped me get my work done that morning.”
Kevin especially believes in demonstrating appreciation outwardly for people who might not otherwise be thanked for their work.
“Whether you practice gratitude for yourself or outwardly towards others, it helps us to understand our value, which encourages the expression of gratitude to those around us in-turn. It can be a really great positive feedback loop where everyone benefits–sort of like the idea of Karma.”
In our day-to-day lives we’re often asked if we’d like to donate to a charity, yet most people can’t afford to donate to all the charities they’d like and must refuse at times. Kevin’s style of expressing gratitude is a bit like offering a donation which doesn’t cost us anything–we can give gratitude with minimal sacrifice, yet our efforts are likely to be paid forward in dividends.
“What are you thankful for today?”
After learning about the way they practice gratitude in their lives personally, we concluded by asking Kevin and Christine what they were thankful for in their lives today:
